a thousand trips to the ocean

I have probably literally been to the ocean over 100 times in my life. Every summer growing up, my family would take a vacation to the beach. I went to college in a beach town, and as an adult I’ve visited a beach destination at least twice a year. Suffice it to say, I love the ocean. I love the sound of the waves crashing the shore. I love the picturesque blue of the water. I love the sun beaming overhead. I love the gentle coolness of the refreshing water. I love everything about God’s beauty manifested in the ocean. For as many times as I’ve been to the ocean, I’m always in awe when I look out into the horizon and watch the water meet the sky. It seems so limitless to me, but Psalm 13:7 says that “He assigned the sea its boundaries and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs.” Wow! When I meditate just on that fact that he can draw borders for such massive bodies of water, how much more can He do for me? The Bible also says that He subdues the waves (Psalm 89:9) and He split the sea by His strength (Psalm 74:13). When I need to be reminded of the power and beauty of my maker, all I need is one glance into the expanse of those mighty blue waters.

A few weeks ago, I was at the beach with a friend and her family. We spent 7 glorious days frolicking in the waves, laying in the sand, soaking in the sun and the ocean air. It was everything I needed and more. As this probably was my 101st trip to the beach, I never stopped to realize that this might be someone else’s first time at the ocean.

On the last day of our trip, they gave me the task of giving away the expensive floats we had bought for the week. Everyone else went back to the condo to shower and get ready for dinner, and I stayed back to enjoy my last evening on the beach and to make sure those floats got in the right hands. Earlier that day I had read Psalm 27, and I was particularly struck with the part that said to gaze on the beauty of the Lord. I thought wouldn’t it be amazing if I could behold God’s beauty every day, whether at the ocean or not. That day I had certainly beheld His beauty as I watched the clouds roll over the perfectly clear water. It was as if The Lord of the universe was calling my name. But that’s not what brought tears to my eyes that day.

As I lay on the last float waiting to give it away, I noticed a girl and her mom pass by. The girl, no more than 8 years old, held her mom’s hand as they walked on the edge of the water. A few minutes later, they passed again. This time I stopped them and asked if they wanted our float. They were surprised at the gesture, but they took the float, and I told the little girl to enjoy. As I packed up my things to leave, I couldn’t help but watch this little girl and her new float. First she ran to her dad to show him the float, then she and her mom ventured into the water with the tube. She situated herself atop ready to ride her first wave. And as the wave came crashing, she flipped over. I felt a pang in my stomach, as I watched her run out of the water and back to her dad. Don’t quit, I thought to myself. She grabbed her towel and wiped her face and back into the water she went. And again she crashed with the wave into the water, and again she ran for her towel. Three times this series of events happened. I hoped she would not give up. I hoped she’d keep going. Again she jumped up on the tube, this wave bigger than the rest knocked her over into the water. I watched and waited for her reaction. She hopped up, wiped her eyes with her hands and was ready to tackle the next wave. Tears streamed in my eyes as I beheld the beauty of The Lord through the lens of this little girl’s first trip the ocean. And as the tide rolled them away, I watched her bounce on and off the float with glee, and I felt the joy of The Lord through her smile, her perseverance, her innocence, and her sweet spirit.

I hope to take a thousand trips to the ocean, knowing each one will hold a priceless treasure of God’s love, beauty, grandeur, and magnificence.

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The Wall

Earlier this week, on our company retreat, we went rock climbing for a team building activity.  Now, I love physical activities and challenges, but I have a terrible, crippling fear of heights. As soon as we arrived at the facility, and I looked at the height of the walls, I told myself there was no way I was going to climb that high.

However, my competitive drive kicked in, and I wasn’t going to not try. So I tried. I climbed half way up the wall and froze in fear. I could physically go higher, but my mind told me that I could not. I panicked, not able to go any higher I came down. Dejected at my inability to keep going higher, I was frustrated and disappointed.

About 15 minutes later, I pep talked myself into going again. I knew I could do it. I knew I had the strength, I just needed to push myself higher. I had to trust in the harness and the rope. I had to believe that I wasn’t going to fall. I had to have faith that I could go higher.

So I got strapped into the harness and began to climb again. The first few steps were easy. I breezed through the lower part of the wall. Then, just like it happened the time before, I got to the same point, and I froze. Crippled in fear, I was stuck midway on the wall. My legs and arms began to shake, I looked down and panicked. I could not go any higher on this wall. Then, below me, all of my teammates began to cheer me on, encouraging me to keep going higher. There words were nice, but ultimately I needed to silence the voice in my head that told me I could not. I had to listen to the still small voice in my soul that told me I could. I let that voice be my guide as I took step by step, until I reached the very top. Higher than I thought I could go, but not higher than I could go.

That wall is life. I know sometimes I get stuck in a place, crippled by fear, scared to keep going, losing faith, looking backwards, and ultimately giving up. But God never intended us to be stuck. By His strength we can keep going, keep climbing, keep moving, and go higher, longer, further than we ever imagined or thought. When I came down from the wall, all of my teammates rushed me with hugs and high fives. My boss even told me to tap into whatever force led me to the wall the second time. That force, that will, that determination comes from the Lord, and I pray that I can listen to His voice when he whispers, “keep going higher, my rope will guide you, my harness will catch you, my love will never leave you, you will not FALL.”

God of shoe racks??

During my first year of teaching, I moved into a new apartment with a huge walk-in closet. I was excited about the vastness and space that was available in the closet. I absolutely love shoes and clothes, so the large closet made me extremely happy. I decided to buy a shoe rack to store some of my shoes as a way to best utilize the space. So, I headed to Target and picked up one of the types of shoe racks that you have to assemble yourself. When I got home, I was eager to put together the shoe rack and begin putting my shoes on it. However, assembling this particular shoe rack was one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life.  There were poles that needed to fit in notches and plastic brackets to hold it all together, and for some reason all the pieces did not want to fit together properly. Every time I thought I was finished, I would watch the metal poles slip through the holes and the entire rack fall to ground. After hours of assembling this shelf, I just sat on the floor and cried in frustration. I couldn’t understand why it wasn’t working. I had all the right pieces, and I knew where they were supposed to go, but they just wouldn’t fit.

How many times in our own lives have we had the right pieces, but we just couldn’t make them fit? I think when we are the carpenters of our own lives, the pieces will never go together as they should.

Eventually, I did get the shoe rack assembled, with the help of a lot of duct tape and tons of sweat, frustration, and tears. The crazy thing about that shoe rack was it never actually stayed together. On countless occasions, I would go to pull a shoe, and the entire rack would come crumbling down. At first, I met this with more frustration and a lack of understanding. However, I got to the point that year that when the rack fell, I rebuilt. You can never give up on anything, even if it seems as trivial as a shoe rack. We are all God’s shoe racks, he puts us together, and we fall apart. Instead of waving his hands in frustration, he picks up all of the pieces and rebuilds us again and again and again.

Where do you go when the pieces fall? Do you attempt to rebuild your own shoe rack? Or do you let God put the pieces exactly as they should go?

For most of my life, I thought I was building my own rack, controlling my own life, and time and time again, my rack fell to the ground with a large bang. Now, as I see God as the owner of my whole life, I know he controls the pieces and will build the rack with a sturdy foundation, such that if it falls, I know he is ready to pick up the pieces and build again. I thank God that he never gives up on us, even when we think the shoe rack will never be operational.