a thousand trips to the ocean

I have probably literally been to the ocean over 100 times in my life. Every summer growing up, my family would take a vacation to the beach. I went to college in a beach town, and as an adult I’ve visited a beach destination at least twice a year. Suffice it to say, I love the ocean. I love the sound of the waves crashing the shore. I love the picturesque blue of the water. I love the sun beaming overhead. I love the gentle coolness of the refreshing water. I love everything about God’s beauty manifested in the ocean. For as many times as I’ve been to the ocean, I’m always in awe when I look out into the horizon and watch the water meet the sky. It seems so limitless to me, but Psalm 13:7 says that “He assigned the sea its boundaries and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs.” Wow! When I meditate just on that fact that he can draw borders for such massive bodies of water, how much more can He do for me? The Bible also says that He subdues the waves (Psalm 89:9) and He split the sea by His strength (Psalm 74:13). When I need to be reminded of the power and beauty of my maker, all I need is one glance into the expanse of those mighty blue waters.

A few weeks ago, I was at the beach with a friend and her family. We spent 7 glorious days frolicking in the waves, laying in the sand, soaking in the sun and the ocean air. It was everything I needed and more. As this probably was my 101st trip to the beach, I never stopped to realize that this might be someone else’s first time at the ocean.

On the last day of our trip, they gave me the task of giving away the expensive floats we had bought for the week. Everyone else went back to the condo to shower and get ready for dinner, and I stayed back to enjoy my last evening on the beach and to make sure those floats got in the right hands. Earlier that day I had read Psalm 27, and I was particularly struck with the part that said to gaze on the beauty of the Lord. I thought wouldn’t it be amazing if I could behold God’s beauty every day, whether at the ocean or not. That day I had certainly beheld His beauty as I watched the clouds roll over the perfectly clear water. It was as if The Lord of the universe was calling my name. But that’s not what brought tears to my eyes that day.

As I lay on the last float waiting to give it away, I noticed a girl and her mom pass by. The girl, no more than 8 years old, held her mom’s hand as they walked on the edge of the water. A few minutes later, they passed again. This time I stopped them and asked if they wanted our float. They were surprised at the gesture, but they took the float, and I told the little girl to enjoy. As I packed up my things to leave, I couldn’t help but watch this little girl and her new float. First she ran to her dad to show him the float, then she and her mom ventured into the water with the tube. She situated herself atop ready to ride her first wave. And as the wave came crashing, she flipped over. I felt a pang in my stomach, as I watched her run out of the water and back to her dad. Don’t quit, I thought to myself. She grabbed her towel and wiped her face and back into the water she went. And again she crashed with the wave into the water, and again she ran for her towel. Three times this series of events happened. I hoped she would not give up. I hoped she’d keep going. Again she jumped up on the tube, this wave bigger than the rest knocked her over into the water. I watched and waited for her reaction. She hopped up, wiped her eyes with her hands and was ready to tackle the next wave. Tears streamed in my eyes as I beheld the beauty of The Lord through the lens of this little girl’s first trip the ocean. And as the tide rolled them away, I watched her bounce on and off the float with glee, and I felt the joy of The Lord through her smile, her perseverance, her innocence, and her sweet spirit.

I hope to take a thousand trips to the ocean, knowing each one will hold a priceless treasure of God’s love, beauty, grandeur, and magnificence.

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God is Beautiful

It was late May 2013, my body ached from soreness and tiredness. My eyelids were heavy from sleep deprivation. My younger sister and I were on the last leg of a marathon trip through Europe. We had visited three countries in two weeks and were spending the last 4 days in an obscure Spanish beach city. We had arrived to Valencia earlier that morning by plane, then headed to a local bus station to board our bus for a 3 hour journey down the Spanish Coast. By the time we were on the bus, I was completely exhausted and entirely tired. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and drift into a much needed nap. Before falling asleep, I set my alarm to awaken me in two hours so that we wouldn’t miss our stop.

Little did I know that my phone was set to silent, and I would not hear the usual melody of the iPhone alarm.

I believe in the sovereignty of God in all things, so in addition to setting my alarm I said a quick prayer to God asking him to make sure we didn’t miss our stop. Then, I drifted into a deep, deep sleep. I’m not sure how long I slept before waking up, but when I looked down, my phone alarm was silently going off. And we were quickly approaching our bus stop. Awakened, I was suddenly super vigilant of our surroundings. At that very moment, I looked out the bus window, and there it was. A hand wrapped gift from God. I tried to pull out my phone to snap a pic, but I wasn’t quick enough. It was only a momentary glimpse. It was gone in a split second. Had I slept for a minute longer, I would have missed it. But God was gracious enough to allow me to see the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.

As we were driving down the Spanish coast, there was a spot where the cliffs and mountains met the ocean in perfect harmony. The blue hue of the water looked unreal contrast against the rocky cliffs. The sky and the ocean blended into the infinite horizon. The scene was perfection and reminded me of the beauty of God and His beautiful creation. Like an artist painting a masterpiece on his canvas, God handcrafted this earth and everything in it. The Bible says: “The earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein, for he has founded it upon the seas and established it upon the rivers.” -Psalm 24:1-2.

If He takes that much care to create the ocean and mountains, then how much more care does He have for us, created in His image? Seeing scenes like that I feel very grateful to be part of His creation because He is a splendid artist and the earth and His people are His masterpieces.

God is beautiful, and so are His people. All of them.

They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty– and I will meditate on your wonderful works. Psalm 145:5

HE. Came.

Silent.

Dark.

Quiet.

Waiting.

---

Boom.

Bang.

Crash.

Everything changed in one moment.

HE CAME.

Unassuming.

Unnoticed.

King of the universe wrapped in swaddling clothing.

Holder of the world. Held as in infant.

Creator of the universe. Walking among the created.

Jesus came that we may have life. He came not with a loud uproar, but in silence in a manger, in a small town. There was not buzz about his arrival. The tabloid headlines didn’t shout of his birth like the royal baby. But yet he came, to a teenage girl and a carpenter.

He came. He came.

What’s more? He came to die.

He lived a life we couldn’t live and died a death we all deserved.

He came. The wise men knew. They brought gifts. The prophets had spoken of his coming. The people were waiting. Then, he came.

Yet, they rejected him. Mocked him. Beat him. Killed him.

But, he came. He came for me. He came for you. He came for my friends and family. He came for my enemies. He came for Mother Teresa. He came for Hitler. He came to save humanity. He came to give us life. He came to tear down the walls. He came to give us hope, peace, joy, comfort, love, patience. He came.

One night, in the midst of the darkness, in the midst of pain, suffering, hopelessness, he came. Silently, quietly, as just a mere infant, he came. An eternal light shining, he came. A light for the world, he came. A light for me in my darkest moments, he came. A light for all to see, he came.

And did I mention, he’s coming back.

“The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine.” Isaiah 9:2

One Journey- -Two Years

God is eternal. He has no time, no beginning, and no ending. He has lived all of our yesterdays and all of our tomorrows. His story is better than the finest book crafted by the finest author. This is what happens when God is the author— all of His glory and redemptive power on full display. How can I know that God has lived all of my days? Well because what was two years in my life, was just a blink in Eternity.

I don’t even know where to begin. I guess it started two years ago when I heard God calling me to Kenya. I answered his call. I didn’t share the gospel. I didn’t talk about God. I formed relationships.

It was then that I met Elizabeth and her brother Charles. After some warming up, they welcomed me in their home in the Kibera slums. Though just a few cardboard boxes stitched together, it was their home and they were proud of every inch of it. My first Sunday back, I saw Elizabeth again, the tall, lanky, shy teenage girl. She briefly smiled and waved and continued to go on her way. Her brother, on the other hand, being polar opposites, greeted me excitedly when he saw me, recalling our last meeting together. Charles proudly shared that he and his sister now lived at Sadili, and his mom had a job working at the pool. It was as if two years had not passed between our last meeting.

I wanted badly for the same with Elizabeth, but I knew I couldn’t rush it. I knew she’d have to open to me again, to trust me again, to believe in me again. Well after a few brief interactions, the spark was ignited. She opened up like a gift on Christmas morning. Then, just like that, I was standing after dinner talking about the gospel to a group of about 8 girls and 2 boys. Enamored, they clung to my every word, asking questions, and then it was Elizabeth, shy Elizabeth that said “tomorrow, we will meet again.” Yes, tomorrow we can meet again, I thought, it’s just too few tomorrows. But God has no limits.

 

Married to Jesus

Sitting at dinner with the girls, we jokingly said who was dating whom, and which girl had a crush on which guy. They kind of talk that makes girls giggle and blush. Then, one of them asked me about my boyfriend. And I said that I didn’t have one. Elizabeth’s brother, Charles, who had migrated over to the table at this point, asked pretty seriously, “well why not?” After thinking for a minute, I knew I had two options: I could continue the lighthearted joking conversation or I could speak the truth and share the good news of Jesus Christ. I chose the latter.

“Well, God hasn’t chosen anyone for me yet, so I’m married to Jesus until he gives me a husband,” I began, “And he’s the best husband because he’s good and kind.”  Elizabeth beamed, “I like that…I like that a lot”

At this point, I noticed that I had garnered quite the gathering, and I was standing up. This outside eating area, built on a garbage site, with all reused and recycled material had become my pulpit and these kids my congregation. They asked me about dating, and church, and relationships. Two Muslims girls sat listening electrified. At one point I was interrupted, and they all said what were you saying about Jesus. When they departed, a few of the kids asked if we could talk more tomorrow. And I smiled and said yes.

Then, I recalled all the people who questioned me about this trip. “What are you going to do?” “So is this a mission trip?” You’re going to teach tennis where?” Why are you going all the way to Africa?”

My response now. Tennis is the means. God is the end. My life is a mission trip.

 

Hope in the sand

Last week, I was vacationing with my family in the Caribbean, and my sister and I were frolicking on the beach, taking pictures, swimming, jumping in and out of the waves, and running along the sand. It was one of those moments of pure bliss. Then my sister began to write in the sand. She wrote “Life is beautiful.” Then took a cool picture and posted it on Instagram. Following suit, I wrote “Love” in the sand and quickly captured the picture.

Then, without much thought I began to write “Hope” in the sand next to our other words. As I was writing, a man walked by and made a comment as I was writing the word. I didn’t actually hear what he said; I just smiled and kept writing “Hope” in the sand. A few minutes later, as I was just about to snap a few pictures of my word, the same man came by again.

This time he stopped and said, “Oh, so that’s what you were writing, ‘Hope’. Can you tell me about that?”

I stood there dazed for a minute, was this man seriously asking me to explain hope? After processing his question, I began to explain hope to him, “Really, it’s simple; hope is everything. Without hope, we don’t have a reason to get up in the morning.”

He looked at me puzzled for a second, and then responded, “Where do you get your hope from?”

It was at that moment that I knew without a doubt the only answer to his question.

“God.”

We talked for another 15 minutes about God, Jesus, salvation and eternity. He asked questions about my faith, and as I answered them, I felt more and more empowered, and I knew that it wasn’t me speaking but God through me. While we were talking his young daughter nearly stepped on my sand drawing, and he stopped her saying, “No sweetie, don’t step there that’s very important. In fact, it’s everything.”

A few seconds later, I looked down and noticed the little girl writing “hope” next to my drawing. Her father smiled with tears in his eyes.

When we finished our conversation, I walked back to my lounge chair. A few minutes later the man reappeared. He apologized for bothering me again, but the words he spoke were so sincere and real as if God himself were speaking them. “You know how everything happens for a reason. I know why I came on this vacation. Not to eat good food, swim in the beach, shop, or hang out. There was a reason I was on this beach feeding these fish at this moment. That reason was to come across the “hope” in the sand. You have changed my life. Now I have a reason to keep going and keep living.”

That encounter changed my life as much as his. A reminder that even something as simple as writing in the sand can change someone’s life, and really hope is all there is. Hope for eternity, hope for a better world, hope for peace, hope for love, hope for change, hope for people, hope in God, hope for tomorrow.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

29:11

I look down at the ratty and worn out bookmark, the tassel frayed and unraveling. Then, I look at the words printed on the front of the bookmark, and tears begin to stream down my face. How appropriate those words. How real they would feel one year later. How convicted I would feel by the truth in the words. Printed on the leather purple bookmark, still tucked away in the Joyce Meyer book that was a graduation present from my mother: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Oh, how true indeed! The Lord has always known the plans for me and it brings me such joy to know that while I was worried about my future, jobs, relationships, etc., He already knew those plans. When I first got the bookmark last May, I remember looking at the words, and thinking, hmm that’s a nice little bible verse. However it didn’t change anything in my heart. I continued to worry and stress about jobs and where I would be living and what I would be doing. Looking back on it now, I see how minute my worries were. I see how small my stresses were to an almighty God, but at the time they were all-consuming. I defined my identity in worldly success. So, I looked at the bookmark with some merit, but gave it no merit in my life. A few weeks later, I was in Memphis for Memorial Day, which ended up being a life changing week, and I was at Cracker Barrel with my little sister, and as we walked through the country store, I glanced a plaque with the same words printed on it. I said to my sister, “Maya, look it’s that same bible verse.” She said it must be following me around for a reason. I told her if I got the job that I was interviewing for on the next day, that they must get the plaque for me to hang on my office wall.

I did get that job, and for the next two or three months, I would see this bible verse, Jeremiah 29:11 printed everywhere. As if it truly were following me around. From looking for decorations for my new apartment, to buying a journal from the bookstore, I saw those words everywhere. Finally, I began to wonder what God could mean. In my mind his prophecy had been fulfilled. I was desperate for a job, and he blessed me with an awesome job around an amazing group of uplifting Christian people. Weren’t those his plans? Hadn’t he prospered me? It never really was about the job though.

Months later as I reflect on the past 12 months, tears stream down my face as I reread those words printed on the purple leather bookmark. When I think of the plans that I tried to create for myself, the jobs I applied for, the cities I attempted to live in, the relationships that I wanted to form; they are crumbs compared to the feast that the Lord has been preparing for me. One year later, I realize that all of the doors that had to close, all the sadness I had to endure, all of the confusion, all of the frustration, all of the things I had to turn away from, so I could turn to the one true and Holy God. The past 12 months have changed me. I trust God because I believe that his plans for me will always surpass any plans I could ever make for myself.

I can look at Jeremiah 29:11 and know that the Lord is good and sovereign and his promises always come true. I can substitute the word “plans” for job, husband, house, friends, city, tomorrow, etc. He knows my future, He holds my future, and his plan are to give me hope and a future Something I couldn’t foresee a year ago.

Letter to an Unforgettable Year

Dear 2011,

What can I say? You have truly been a memorable year. We started very rocky. You brought a great deal of sadness and despair at the onset, but you ended with healing and patching of old wounds. Oh year, you brought a master’s degree, a new job, new friends, a new city, a new apartment, and a new community of coworkers, family, friends, and church members. You taught me the meaning of team and family, and you forced me to face some difficult things and move past them. 2011, I am so grateful for you. Although you started with tens of job rejections, you always knew which job was really meant for me. Although you separated me from certain people, you always knew who my real friends should be. Although you made one living situation not work out, you knew where I should really be living.

I doubted your potential 2011. I feared your days and months. I tried to escape from the passing of your calendar. But day after day passed and you persisted. Your winter brought bitter disappointment, your spring utter despair, but by summer, you brought hope, and in autumn you gave me a new life. You have been a year to remember that’s for sure. At some points, I didn’t know if I’d see you end. But I have, I’m here at your end. Wow! What a journey we have endured together. I am so grateful for you 2011. The newness that you have brought, but also the ending of old habits and sins that you have stopped. For all the doors that you have opened this year, thank you. For all the joys that I have experienced, thank you. For all of the people who you’ve brought into my life, thank you. For revealing God to me, thank you. For helping me to seek God, thank you. For completely giving my life over to Christ, thank you.

2011, thank you. For the bad days, for the tears, for the trials, for the loneliness, for the rejection, for the suffering, thank you. Without those experiences, I would never know how great life can really be.

As your time is quickly coming to an end, I look with eager anticipation at what your successor 2012 will bring. As with any year, I also know there will be bad days too. But 2011, you taught me that bad days are not Godless days. For that lesson alone, I appreciate you 2011.

Farewell and thank you; you have been a metamorphic year,

Kristen

God of shoe racks??

During my first year of teaching, I moved into a new apartment with a huge walk-in closet. I was excited about the vastness and space that was available in the closet. I absolutely love shoes and clothes, so the large closet made me extremely happy. I decided to buy a shoe rack to store some of my shoes as a way to best utilize the space. So, I headed to Target and picked up one of the types of shoe racks that you have to assemble yourself. When I got home, I was eager to put together the shoe rack and begin putting my shoes on it. However, assembling this particular shoe rack was one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life.  There were poles that needed to fit in notches and plastic brackets to hold it all together, and for some reason all the pieces did not want to fit together properly. Every time I thought I was finished, I would watch the metal poles slip through the holes and the entire rack fall to ground. After hours of assembling this shelf, I just sat on the floor and cried in frustration. I couldn’t understand why it wasn’t working. I had all the right pieces, and I knew where they were supposed to go, but they just wouldn’t fit.

How many times in our own lives have we had the right pieces, but we just couldn’t make them fit? I think when we are the carpenters of our own lives, the pieces will never go together as they should.

Eventually, I did get the shoe rack assembled, with the help of a lot of duct tape and tons of sweat, frustration, and tears. The crazy thing about that shoe rack was it never actually stayed together. On countless occasions, I would go to pull a shoe, and the entire rack would come crumbling down. At first, I met this with more frustration and a lack of understanding. However, I got to the point that year that when the rack fell, I rebuilt. You can never give up on anything, even if it seems as trivial as a shoe rack. We are all God’s shoe racks, he puts us together, and we fall apart. Instead of waving his hands in frustration, he picks up all of the pieces and rebuilds us again and again and again.

Where do you go when the pieces fall? Do you attempt to rebuild your own shoe rack? Or do you let God put the pieces exactly as they should go?

For most of my life, I thought I was building my own rack, controlling my own life, and time and time again, my rack fell to the ground with a large bang. Now, as I see God as the owner of my whole life, I know he controls the pieces and will build the rack with a sturdy foundation, such that if it falls, I know he is ready to pick up the pieces and build again. I thank God that he never gives up on us, even when we think the shoe rack will never be operational.

Where is God sometimes?

It was an early May day, but the temperature in Nashville was already in the mid-90s. It was the sticky, sweltering type of heat that makes it not only difficult to breath, but every task is intensified by the mighty rays of the sun. I was sitting in my car at a local park in between errands for that day. Although I was parked in the shade, I could feel the sauna that was right outside my car. As I sat in the car, I began to feel tears swelling in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry in that moment, I wanted to feel the warmth of the sun and be reminded of God’s love and presence. However, in that moment, all I could do was cry. I don’t know how long I sat in that car with tears streaming down my face, and sweat dripping from my forehead, but after a short while, I was distracted from my tears by a buzz of my cell phone.

It’s weird that I would ask where God is sometimes, when I know he is everywhere at all times. But sometimes I think we just have to be reminded that he is with us and cares for us. When I picked up the phone and wiped the tears from my eyes that were blurring my vision, I noticed a text from a friend that simply said, “Are you okay today?” I don’t know how she knew to text me or that I was sitting in a hot car crying in isolation, but that text message reminded me of God’s love in my life, and how he sends people to us in our most desperate situations. Later that afternoon, as I was walking to class, I looked at the big, bright, beautiful sun, and I knew God was there. I felt him in the warmth of the spring air. I saw him in the blinding rays of the sun. I sensed him in the humidity that clinged to my skin. I met God that day and he told me that he is with me always. For me, that message came from the largest celestial body in the solar system. For others, it can come in all kinds of different forms and ways.

At hard times, I think it is easy to forget that God has a plan for our lives and to trust his plan, but when we surrender to his good and perfect will, that’s when his love and grace is illuminated in our lives like the beauty of the sun on a hot May day.

Be blessed and live in the name of christ…

Stop looking down during stressing times and look up and find the “sun”, the light, and the way.